


Picking Up The Pieces

by Thy_Undertaker



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, BUT AS OF RIGHT NOW THIS WILL NEVER BE UPDATED AGAIN, Bottom Levi, Broken marriage, Eventual Smut, Gay, M/M, Mpreg, PERMENANT HIATUS, THIS MAY BE DELETED AND RESTARTED ONE DAY, Top Eren, domestic AU, eventual domestic fluff, fic: putp, hella angst tbh, male pregnation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-14
Updated: 2016-04-07
Packaged: 2018-05-20 08:09:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5998219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thy_Undertaker/pseuds/Thy_Undertaker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>10 years of marriage and three kids later, Levi and Eren find themselves in a broken and loveless marriage. When Eren says those four dreaded words, Levi realizes that's not what he wants. Can he romance his husband for a second time and piece their marriage and their lives back together?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This was just a thing that I suddenly wanted to write. I decided to write it a little differently than most love stories. This prologue and the first chapter are pretty short, and are more to set things up than anything else. Enjoy!

Everyone thinks that happiness will last forever. That you will always love the person you married. They think that sure, there will be hard times but love will get us through everything. It’s so naïve to believe that love will fix your problems and be the solution to everything.

We were so naïve.

Our routine was very similar to our current one.

Get up, feed the kids, pack lunches, get the kids off to school, both of us go to work, come home, help the kids with homework, clean, dinner, a few hours of free time or working, bed.

Except the difference between then and now is we always used to have sweet nothings in between.

Loving glances and kisses, random make-out sessions before bed, sex here and there when we weren’t too tired, sweet words, conversations, communication, loving gestures.

But one by one, they seemed to slip away without us noticing.

Get up, feed the kids, pack lunches, get the kids off to school, both of us go to work, come home, help the kids with homework, clean, dinner, a few hours of free time or working, bed.

Except the difference between now and then is we always used to have sweet nothings in between where now we argue.

Glances filled with annoyance, snappy words, sleeping in different rooms, nasty words, raised voices, fight after fight, tears, the kids staying at their grandmother’s and their friends’ houses more than before, four words that no married couple ever planned to say.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will get happier, I swear. Bear with me!

Levi hunched over the bar, stirring the untouched drink in front of him mindlessly. His grey eyes were glassy and stared at nothing as the scene replayed over and over in his mind, from start to finish as he remembered where he went so wrong. Where he failed. Why he failed.

The worst part was how obvious it was that it was all his fault.

It really wasn’t a question where he failed or why. It was just him, everything about him as a whole. He hated himself. The more and more the scene looped through his mind, the further he fell into the abyss of pure self-loathing…

_Levi shut the front door behind him, sighing as he pulled his shoes off and loosened the red tie around his neck, tossing his briefcase on the sofa and using that hand to rub at the throbbing pain just above his head. It was already almost ten o’clock and Levi had been getting home this late a lot recently._

_The kids were already in bed and all the lights were turned off. It wasn’t unusual these days. There was a blanket and pillow folded and stacked neatly at the end of the couch that hadn’t been there that morning._

_Levi sighed and headed straight towards the bathroom to brush his teeth and change out of his business suit and into the pajamas that sat on the counter for him. This wasn’t unusual for them anymore. Some days they wouldn’t even see each other anymore._

_He opened the door. “Levi,” the raven haired man looked towards the source of the noise to see his husband of almost 10 years, Eren, leaning against the doorway of their bedroom, his blue-green eyes staring straight down at him. His mouth went dry. Eren’s tone was quiet and solemn, hollow and hopeless, gentle. He had never heard that tone and it made him freeze, his inside twisting._

_“I want a divorce.”_

_Somehow he hadn’t seen it coming. Even though they had gotten to the point where they didn’t even step into the same room unless the kids were there, the words didn’t really register at first. His stomach dropped._

_“A… divorce?” The words felt heavy, unreal, like someone else had said them. This wasn’t really happening to him, was it?_

_“I can’t do this anymore, Levi. The fighting, sleeping in separate rooms. Today, Rae asked me if we hated each other. Our three year old asked me if we hated each other and I didn’t have an answer for her. We should be able to tell our children we love each other. They shouldn’t have to ask us if we hate each other._

_“I’m tired, Levi. I’m tired of the fighting, of sleeping alone, of staring at my wedding ring and wondering where it all went wrong. I’m tired of wondering when I stopped loving my husband, wondering when my husband stopped loving me. I don’t want a marriage with no love.” His voice cracked at the end and speared through Levi’s chest._

_He did love Eren. He knew that he had to still love Eren. There was no way that just disappeared. He did still love Eren. He did. He loved his husband and each of the kids Levi carried for nine months. Right? He had to._

_“I...” There were no real words and he stumbled back into the bathroom to sit on the toilet for a few minutes. When he came back out he could hear Eren crying from the other side of their bedroom door. He jiggled the handle to find it locked._

_“I don’t want a divorce.” Levi murmured quietly as tears filled his eyes…_

“Did you and Eren fight again?” Levi didn’t need to glance over in order to know it was his best friend, Erwin. His grip tightened around the glass of alcohol, his red-rimmed grey eyes staring into the still-untouched opaque liquid.

“He said he wants a divorce.” The words fell off of Levi’s tongue bitterly. Erwin didn’t seem surprised.

“Do you want a divorce?” The question was cautious but firm at the same time.

“No. I don’t want our children to go through that. What if Eren doesn’t let me see them? I didn’t spend 27 months pregnant in order to lose my children… and I just don’t want one. I don’t want it to be over.”

“Have you tried to fix your marriage?” Had he tried? He couldn’t say that he had. The most he’d done was make dinner a few times. He’d basically let it fall apart. He didn’t have any right to cry over this. He remembered the sounds of Eren sobbing on the other side of the door when he had left the house and was immediately enveloped by guilt. He had just left Eren home alone, cying in their bedroom. It wasn’t the first time, either.

“No.” His voice came out raspy and broken.

“Then why don’t you? You can’t say you don’t want your marriage to end when you’ve never tried to fix it. You talk about how it’s like you and Eren don’t love each other, you are always yelling and getting into fights, yet you don’t want it to end? Wouldn’t it be better if you are both so miserable? It was good while it lasted but do you really want to hold on to it?” Levi’s gave snapped to the large blonde man who was perched on the barstool beside him.

“I don’t want to let go of Eren. I don’t. I don’t want to let go of him or our marriage or our children. I can’t. I can’t.” Levi’s voice sounded hard and determined.

“So why are you still here?” The words were barely out of his mouth before Levi was off his stool and practically flying towards his car.

Erwin shook his head as he took Levi’s drink and downed it with one gulp.

“Crazy bastard.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it took me so long to update! My computer broke right after I posted that last chapter and I haven't had a chance to get on a computer to write ;-;
> 
> However I downloaded some stuff on my tablet so hopefully I'll be able to update a little more. I do intend to finish this fic all the way through!

Eren lay awake in his bed, staring at the ceiling with tired, red rimmed eyes. His entire body seemed to ache from crying, but the worst pain was in his chest. It felt constricted and tight, painfully so. Bad enough that it seemed to take away from the tiredness of the rest of his body and leaving that the only thing he could focus on. 

 

How would he tell the kids? They had a three, five, and eight year old. How did you tell your children that their parents no longer loved each other? How did you respond to your three-year-old when she asks in such an innocent voice whether or not you and your husband hated each other? She could barely even speak English, could barely form sentences.

 

He wondered what the two older boys thought, Collin and Oliver. But Eren also knew they were old enough and perceptive enough to draw their own conclusions. Not only that, they were sneaky and probably knew more than they really should.

 

Eren rolled over onto his side with a groan, burying his face in his hands. He was tired of thinking, he was tired of this pain in his chest. But he knew that once morning arrived, he would only feel numbness spreading throughout him, devoiding him of the chance to feel. Maybe it was a side effect of heartbreak, he couldn’t really be sure.

 

He remembered the shocked look that had crossed Levi’s face. It was obvious he had never contemplated the idea of a divorce, hadn’t been expecting it. Most would have considered the look he’d given to be nothing, for Levi’s expressions were small and mostly revealed themselves in the lines of his face and in his eyes. Eren wondered if Levi had been content living like this? He couldn’t be sure.

 

Eren really couldn’t be sure of anything right then.

 

A suddenly knock at the door caused him to jump, and his heart sped up a little. It was probably one of the kids. Eren sat up and rubbed at his eyes, but before he could do anymore than that a voice made him freeze.

 

“Eren, are you in there?”  _ Yes, I’m in here. Go away. _

 

“Can we talk, please?”  _ No, leave me alone. _

 

“Eren?”  _ Go away. _

 

“What do you want, Levi? I thought you left.” Eren snapped, voice thick and shaky from crying so much that night. 

 

“Can I open the door?”  _ No. _

 

“Fine.”  _ Why can’t I just speak my thoughts aloud? _

 

Eren balled up the blankets in his lap and covered himself to his chest, sliding back against the headboard, his green eyes glaring at Levi in an accusatory manner. He didn’t want Levi to see him like this, so weak and vulnerable. 

 

The man he once loved stood awkwardly beside the door, his grey eyes fixed on Eren and concern creasing the lines of his brows. He hated that look of concern and Eren balled up his fists in the blankets. He had no right to be concerned. It pissed him off.

 

“What do you want?” Eren spat the words out like venom and Levi flinched ever-so-slightly at them. They were harsh, angry words but Levi couldn’t blame Eren. He’d brought this all down on himself.

 

“I… I don’t want a divorce. I want to fix things.” Eren raised a brow, surprised at the sudden declaration.

 

“You want to  _ fix _ things? Levi, I gave you plenty of chances to _ fix _ things. You never did it before, why would you suddenly start now?” He scoffed. He’d told Levi long ago what he could do to fix things. To not stay out all night, to come home early from work every once in awhile, take a day off here and there, spend time with them. But nothing had changed. Not a single damn thing and Eren was tired of it all.

 

“One more chance. Give me one more. I want to show you I can be a good father, a good husband. I know all I’ve ever done is fuck things up between us and I’ve never been there for any of you. I’m just asking for one more chance.” He was practically begging, desperation permeating his voice. 

 

“Why should I?! I gave you so many chances. I’m tired of false hope, Levi! I’m tired and I’m done!” Tears began to drip down Eren’s face and a broken sob broke free of him. His chest felt like it was burning, like it was on fire. It was constricting so much to the point that Eren found himself wheezing for breath. 

 

Levi’s eyes grew wide at the sight and tears began to stream down his own cheeks, a very rare event. He dropped to his knees beside the bed and looked up at Eren, desperation in his voice.

 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there. I’m sorry I never did anything or tried. I never meant to make you hate me.” 

 

Those words hit Eren hard. Did he hate Levi? Could he have really gone from Levi being the love of his life to a man he hated so quickly, so easily? It didn’t seem possible. Wasn’t love supposed to be durable and everlasting and come naturally?

 

These days, there were more answers than questions. And he hated it. He absolutely and utterly hated it because right now, looking at the desperate and kneeling man next to the bed he didn’t have a solid answer. Levi had never looked this genuine. Eren had never seen him so broken.

 

“Why?” The words were quiet and unexpected, even as they fell from Eren’s own lips he hadn’t been expecting them. “Why do you want another chance?”

 

“I realized that I don’t want to lose the best thing that ever happened to me. Even though I never acted like it, even though I made you miserable and our family is falling apart I don’t want to lose you or the kids. You might hate me, but I don’t hate you.” The unspoken but insinuated words hung in the air, exactly what the poison had sucked from them:  _ because I realized I still love you. _

 

“One more chance. If it doesn’t work, then we’re over.”

 

Something about the small smile that spread slowly across Levi’s face allowed a small piece of hope to blossom within him.

  
Even so, it terrified him just how easily one man could tear him apart and put him back together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Feedback and kudos are appreciated!  
> Cute/happy stuff to come eventually, promise! All future updates can be tracked on my tumblr and with the tag fic: picking pieces, or if you have something to say about it feel free to use that tag!
> 
> My tumblr:  
> thy-undertaker.tumblr.com


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for not updating! I'm still working on getting a new computer and life's been busy!

“Lunches, backpacks, shoes, water, keys, bag…  _ my _ lunch.” Eren muttered to himself as he scurried around the house, preparing both himself and the kids for the day. It was something he usually did, it kept his brain focused and he tended to forget less this way, not to say he didn’t forget from time to time.

“Coffee, juice, and papers.” He drew the  _ and _ out as he hoisted the stack of papers on the counter into his arms just as his cell phone rang.

Eren let out a few choice curse words before dropping the papers back onto the counter and fishing the phone from his pocket. “Hello?” He answered, his voice dripping with only a fraction of the irritation he felt.

“Hey, so when are you starting the… you know?” It was Armin’s voice from the other end, too afraid to say the word that had been echoing throughout Eren’s mind for weeks now.  _ Divorce.  _

“Um… you know what, let me get the kids to school and daycare and I’ll call you from my work once I can, or we can meet up for coffee or something during my lunch.” Eren worked as a secretary for a doctor’s office nearby, whereas Armin pretty much did his work from home on his computer. He was an engineer for some bigshot company and only had to go into work for a few hours everyday. 

“Sounds good. I figured you’d want to talk today.” Eren sighed at that. So that’s how it was. Suddenly all of the pieces clicked into place. Levi hadn’t come to Eren without a push from Erwin no doubt. 

“I’ll call you then.” Eren ended the call and leaned against the counter, rubbing his temples with another hefty sigh. He’d always known marriage was hard work, but it had gone over and beyond his standards. A piece of Eren had hoped that Levi genuinely wanted to fix whatever was broken, but somehow he didn’t feel that way anymore.

“Papa!” The little voice brought Eren back to what he was doing as his youngest daughter, Rae, came into the kitchen with a wide grin. She was the cutest thing ever, small and petite with big blue eyes and long black pigtails. She looked more like Levi than Eren, but she was much more gentle than Levi had ever been. 

“Are you ready for daycare?” Eren asked her in an excited voice and she nodded enthusiastically, leaping into his arms as he hoisted her up onto his hip.

“Alright, let’s get your brothers in the car then. Hunter! Oliver! Grab your backpacks we’re leaving!” Eren called, slipping his cellphone into his pocket, grabbing Rae’s diaper bag, his papers, and locking the door behind the three of them.

“I hope I’m not forgetting anything…” He muttered quietly as they pulled out but he had a nasty, nagging feeling that he was.

\-----

“Eren!” Eren’s head swung around to spot the source of my name, only to spot the familiar blonde head of his best friend Armin. The brunet’s face split wide into a grin as he approached the blond and hugged him tightly. It had been almost a week since we’d met up with each other.

Sometimes Eren wish he had been attracted to his best friend as opposed to Levi. It would have been so much easier dealing with the sweet brainiac as opposed to a scowling workaholic. 

“Hey, long time no see stranger. What have you been up to?” Eren took the seat opposite him while he waited for his coffee to finish. 

“Work, kids, husband. The usual. Although, Erwin brought home a very… interesting story the other night.” HIs stomach dropped. He had hoped they could have at least made some small talk or whatever before this subject was approached.

“Oh, yeah? What about?” Eren’s mouth felt unusually dry all of a sudden.

Despite Levi’s promise to fix their marriage several nights ago, nothing had changed. Eren still helped the kids with homework, still cooked dinner, still spent time with them, still put the kids to bed, still cleaned up the house, and still found himself lying in his own bed with the door locked each night. All by himself, as he had been for… too long to remember.

Eren could hear when Levi got home each night, could hear him approaching what had once been the bedroom they shared, and then he’d always walk away. The first night, Eren had felt a small bubble of hope rise up beneath him when he heard Levi’s soft footfalls approaching the wooden door, only to be disappointed as they disappeared.

“Well… Erwin found Levi at the bar a few nights ago. Says he looked like shit, about to fall apart. Erwin told me he’d never seen Levi look so horrible and they talked a bit. Says Levi left with a new fire in him after they talked. Something to do with you… and fixing things with you.” Armin dropped off as Eren stared at his hands clasped in front of him on the table, eyes glassy.

“We talked. He told me he didn’t want a divorce, that he was going to ‘fix’ things,” he let out a bitter and slightly choked laugh, “but he hasn’t done a damn thing to change anything. He still comes home late. I can’t tell you the last time our kids actually  _ saw _ him. But I know they are wondering. Things may be shit between me and Levi, but they are still our children. I don’t want them to hate him. Collin is getting older and he notices more than the other two. He’s stopped asking where Levi is and I hate it, Armin.” His voice was low and strained as he spoke, betraying all of the emotions he felt. Not that Armin didn’t already know about them. It had been on more than one occasion that Eren had cried on Armin’s shoulder, sobbing was probably a more accurate word in reality.

“Did you ever think… I don’t want you to get a divorce or have you or the kids go through any of this… But don’t you think it might be better for all of you to call it off now? While things aren’t completely broken, while you still have a shred of sanity left in you? I mean… you aren’t even wearing your wedding ring today. Through all of this, I’ve never once seen you without it.”

That finally registered something in Eren’s mind as he looked down, his finger suddenly feeling bare, naked, exposed…  _ wrong.  _

“I just want you to be happy, Eren, and right now you’re the farthest from it than I’ve ever seen you.” Armin’s voice was soft, his blue gaze filled with worry as a few tears escaped Eren, falling on his bare palm.

\-----

Tonight was going to be different.

Eren sat in his day clothes in an armchair near the front door, papers in his lap. He had decided to leave the office a little early today so he had some paperwork to finish up at home. The kids were at his mother’s for the weekend, and there were two ways this night could go. Either he would be kicking Levi out, or they would be sleeping in the same house, for a while at least. 

He set the papers down on the short table beside him as he heard the door shut behind him. “Home late again, I see.” Eren commented loudly. He could hear ruffling behind him as Levi look off his shoes and jacket.

“Up late, I see.” Levi replied in a tired voice, prompting Eren’s curiosity so he tipped his head ever-so-slightly.

“Seriously? You’re going to a smartass?” 

“’m sorry, just tired. It’s been a long day. But my hours will be shorter starting next week. I got them to shorten my days so I’ll be home before dinner time.” That genuinely surprised Eren, he hadn’t expected that to actually change. Maybe there was hope after all.

“Oh? I’m surprised.” He stood and turned so he could get a good look at Levi, and what he saw shocked him. Levi was dripping with water from head to toe, his eyes were rimmed with red, and his normally pale ivory skin was flushed a bright red. 

“Oh my god, Levi are you feeling okay?” Eren gasped, moving to stand beside him. It had been almost a week since he’d seen his husband, and this was not what he had been expecting to see.

“I’m fine. Just caught a-a-”  _ achoo  _ ”-cold. I just need some rest…” He practically collapsed on the couch, starting the brunet and he muffled a squeak into his hand. Levi had to have more than a cold if he just dropped like a fly, dripping wet and filthy onto their couch. Eren placed his hand against his forehead and practically recoiled at the touch. He was burning up so hot it almost hurt to touch him. 

“Don’t move. I’ll go get the thermometer.” He was in the kitchen ruffling through one of their top drawers in search of the thermometer. Damn it he really needed to organize these drawers.

After a few brief moments he pulled it out and hurried over, rolling it across his forehead and behind his ear. 103 degrees. Eren was no doctor, but even he knew that was unusually high, especially for Levi. He never got sick, definitely not this sick. 

“‘m fine. Don’ worry about me, Eren. Just go ta bed.” Levi mumbled and Eren felt a fresh wave of anger course through him. 

“You can’t take care of yourself so shut up and let me take care of you.” Eren huffed. He started by stripping off Levi’s clothes and slipping him into his favorite pair of pajama pants.

Next, he hoisted the smaller man into his arms and carried him upstairs, laying the raven haired man in the bed, tucking him under the covers. After much coaxing, he got him to take medicine to help reduce his fever and drink some water. Eren spent hours next to Levi with a cool cloth and a humidifier gently humming in the corner. 

“Eren…” Levi mumbled gently, nuzzling up into his hand and causing Eren to freeze. That was the closest thing to a display of affection he had received in months.

Eren scoffed at his sudden childishness. Levi would was sick and the deprived side of Eren’s brain had been in hyperdrive. But even then, knowing that, he couldn’t help but curl up into Levi’s side and drift off into sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments/kudos are appreciated if you enjoyed it!
> 
> my tumblr -->  
> thy-undertaker.tumblr.com

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed it! Please leave kudos/comment if you enjoyed it!
> 
> my tumblr: thy-undertaker.tumblr.com


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